Delizia, a limoncello custard cake
Tiramisu, expresso, marscarpone.
This year I don’t have a romantic partner. There. I said it. The elephant in the room.
Bemoaning my relationship status……
After much lamentation, I decided to do a search on “things to do as a single person”. I read fun, upbeat, and self-care ideas to make me feel loved today and that will sustain me through the weekend…and beyond:
Earlier I used words like “bemoan” and “lament”. I acknowledge my pre and present Valentine angst. It is SO VISIBLE. So HALLMARK. It tells me that I am not special to “someone”, who puts me above all else in his heart and has made a commitment to grow old with me and believes in us as a couple, as lovers, as friends, as partners…and yes, that hurts. Yes, a hurt where that deep ache catches my unguarded self.
With that acknowledgement, I can choose to acknowledge the relationships I have that bring me joy. These are relationships with each of my children, my best girlfriends, my select group of guy friends, and friends that are married couples. I already have a smile on my face as I type this!
This day shall pass. Who knows what my relationship status will be next year. Today, I choose not to bash all the couple things I see around me, but rather celebrate those acts of love. I will work on counteracting thoughts of “I am not worthy of being in a healthy relationship”; “why them and not me?”, etc. with honoring myself who is worthy of deserving healthy love. I choose to be mindful of negativity and to stand clear of negative comments from others and from my own negatives thoughts. I’m thinking of Neo in The Matrix as he deflects the bullets. Outward loving begins with internally loving oneself. I matter. You matter.
I love/hate Valentine’s Day. However, I will embrace the acts of love I see around me. I will give acts of love, kindness and compassion. I will celebrate my current relationship status of being single. I will be “A Bad Ass Single Woman”. I will embrace that! XO
For the Weekly Photo Challenge, Variations on a Theme, I thought it would be fun to share several Halloween pictures (apropos to this week’s theme) taken with my iPhone. October 31, 2017.
I am a Human Being with a Soul. I am Female.
I am The Baby Boomer Generation in the very end of the 1950’s. I will turn Sixty…soon.
I have learned the internalization of practicing gratitude. I work hard to affirm myself and feed my Spirit. I work to seek internal validation. I make space in my life to love the person God created me to be and to love others for whom God created them to be.
I have worked very hard these past 10 years to love myself; to forgive myself; to be selfish; to honor myself; to be courageous and spirited; to laugh again and be playful; to be an authentic parent, a single parent; to honor and embrace all my emotions; to be resourceful; to practice mindfulness; to be daring; to rely on others; to have women and men friends who are fiercely loyal. I am the definition of “It Takes A Village”.
I know defeat, abandonment, betrayal, depression, isolation, victimization. I AM BRAVE. I AM RESILIENT.
Brooklyn Bridge. DUMBO. Picture taken by me, October 2017
For the Weekly Photo Challenge, Silence, I captured my son watching the sun set into the ocean in Del Mar.
Both pictures taken at Fletcher Cove Beach, Solana Beach, California.
Everything of my past has lead me to where I am presently. Everything of my past has evolved me into who I am today. Every new year fills me with a sense of anticipation for how the year will unfold.
There are many conversations in my head with things I want to do in 2018. My tendency is… to “over resolutionize”! What I continue to learn about myself is to make bite-sized, manageable goals, and to be adaptable with unexpected outcomes. Life ( in my opinion) is both circuitous and playbook perfect.
Today, in place of writing my extensive game plan for 2018, I will begin this year with several personal commitments to myself. Disclaimer: throughout the year these will be fine tuned:
Be Valerie. Continue to make space in my life to be the best version of myself.
Know that God Always has My Back.
Practice Gratitude on a Daily Basis.
Make Space in My Life for Connectedness and Community.
Enjoy the Journey.
November 18, 2016
Thinking about you today Dad in the memory of your birthday. Always keeping you in our prayers and thoughts.
You walked the talk Dad: hope where there was despair; faith during times of uncertainty and rejection; compassion and love when confronted with ill-will and indifference.
I see you in the goodness of my kids.
Thank you for giving us your amazing sense of humor and ready smile. Writing that sentence brings a smile to my lips!! I am grateful to you for teaching and showing me about the presence of God in every day life and imparting valuable work ethics. I am proud to be a daughter of a WWII Veteran and POW. You defended our nation against Imperialism and hatred, and fought for justice, peace and the marginalized.
You practiced tough love when I a kid. I totally hated that. But things changed when I became a “grown-up”! Hanging out with you became the “new cool”!!
I believe the best gift you gave was how you loved Mom. Thank you for loving Mom. You should be awarded posthumously for being the most amazing husband any woman deserves. Life knew what they were doing when they gave you as my dad, and that blessing trickled down to my children. My heart is overflowing with gratitude!
You were One Classy Guy! I’ll see you on the same side in Heaven someday.