It has been 8 years since I served my ex divorce papers accompanied with restraining orders. Seven years since my divorce decree was granted by the courts.
How does one be joyous and happy before one comes to terms with grief and anger and disillusionment?
Between then and now I was busy surviving; repairing; working on getting my professional license free from encumbrances; getting my kids thru elementary, middle school, high school, and college; repairing emotional and spiritual wounds; trying to make sense of it all; going to court; securing permanent restraining orders; financial instability and budgeting; working thru my own demons; comparing myself to friends who, in my mind, had successful marriages; finding my tribe of women who support and love me unconditionally; questioning my ability to make choices…..
Then, the intensity of survival was enormous!! That was an understatement. Celebration was the victory felt in waking up every day beginning again and again knowing that my children and I survived another day of dealing with STUFF. STUFF-The aftermath of a nuclear destruction that he had created for us during our marriage.
Today, the intensity of survival has lessened. My family and I are in a place of thriving. We are being mindful and grateful of being alive, having a roof over our head, food on the table and, most importantly, each other. Of course, days of surviving does show it’s ugly face on occasion. But it’s more manageable.
Some day, I may take the time to send out invitations celebrating my divorce. The theme being “Road to Self-Empowerment and The Continued Victory over Victimization”. For now, my 7 children and my closest friends who are my tribe, share with me that internal sense of beating the odds in my situation. That in itself is the daily celebration.