For the Weekly Photo Challenge A Face in the Crowd pictures of people rocking out to 80’s decade music in a dimly lit club seemed aligned with this theme. Recognizable faces are those that came with you…my friend and I. The “others” just share the dance floor. Turning down the lights and loud music amps uninhibited dance moves without judgment from self..and most others. For those that come alone…that drink in hand will keep as a solid recognizable companion…
This year I don’t have a romantic partner. There. I said it. The elephant in the room.
Bemoaning my relationship status……
After much lamentation, I decided to do a search on “things to do as a single person”. I read fun, upbeat, and self-care ideas to make me feel loved today and that will sustain me through the weekend…and beyond:
Earlier I used words like “bemoan” and “lament”. I acknowledge my pre and present Valentine angst. It is SO VISIBLE. So HALLMARK. It tells me that I am not special to “someone”, who puts me above all else in his heart and has made a commitment to grow old with me and believes in us as a couple, as lovers, as friends, as partners…and yes, that hurts. Yes, a hurt where that deep ache catches my unguarded self.
With that acknowledgement, I can choose to acknowledge the relationships I have that bring me joy. These are relationships with each of my children, my best girlfriends, my select group of guy friends, and friends that are married couples. I already have a smile on my face as I type this!
This day shall pass. Who knows what my relationship status will be next year. Today, I choose not to bash all the couple things I see around me, but rather celebrate those acts of love. I will work on counteracting thoughts of “I am not worthy of being in a healthy relationship”; “why them and not me?”, etc. with honoring myself who is worthy of deserving healthy love. I choose to be mindful of negativity and to stand clear of negative comments from others and from my own negatives thoughts. I’m thinking of Neo in The Matrix as he deflects the bullets. Outward loving begins with internally loving oneself. I matter. You matter.
I love/hate Valentine’s Day. However, I will embrace the acts of love I see around me. I will give acts of love, kindness and compassion. I will celebrate my current relationship status of being single. I will be “A Bad Ass Single Woman”. I will embrace that! XO